Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu and My Idiot Husband

I'm gonna kill him. I've been nagging for what, a year now, to just fork over the dollars for just a halfway decent minefield. Nothing fancy mind you - I don't need a ton of surveilance cameras and 20' tall gates topped with barbed wire. I mean really - what's the point of filling up the basement with supplies to survive the millenium and moving out into the middle of nowhere, if you're just gonna lose it all to the first wave of unwashed zombie hoardes that washes by?

Well, he's put it off and put it off, and now when the hoardes come knockin', they'll be leaving their stupid swine flu germs all over the place. Now suddenly, it ain't just enough to shoot a few of em and hang them from poles as a warning to others. No, now you gotta get all dolled up in a disposable hazard suit when you're moving the bodies, and then wipe down the whole 5 friggin' acres with bleach! I swear, I'm about to cuss.

Ew! I mean, just ew! I mean, it was bad enough when we just had to Shovel Shoot and Shuddup. Now we gotta worry about the stupid flu virus too?

That's all for now. I gotta go get something heavy to throw at him when he gets home.

[Edit: Aw, man - what a sweetie! We're set - suits, masks, gloves, biohazard disposal bags, tamiflu, bleach, - the whole 9 yards. Turns out, he'd had 'em delivered to the neighbor's house, and has been smuggling them in at night after I went to bed. He said he was waiting for Christmas to show me. He really is my little kissiebunnyhubbie. And get this - he even got some little kid sized suits - IN PINK! We're climbing into them now, to do a trial run for more ammo at the WalMart. He's still cryin' from the 9" cast iron 'welcome home' I gave him, but I'll bandage him up when we get home tonight and then see if a little sugar improves his mood any.]


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